Tag: Past

My Story—Part II

I’d given up the wishes regarding my own story
And I thought I’d at least be the person I had bettered,
That’s all that I still wanted: to still have my core values,
Which I’d attained through hardships and years of self-improvement.
 
I thought that I’d at least have the old me to fall back on,
Since I had tried and failed to face so many fears.
It seems, though, that I’m meant to experience oblivion
Whenever I’m about to define my new-found features.
 
Forget what I had wanted—I’ve lost touch with my true self,
And now I’m in a daze and can’t seem to find my way back.
I call out in the tempest, but all my cries are muffled…
The teller of my story has long ago been silenced…

– Patricia

My Story—Part I

Oh, I wanted my story to be that of a hero,
Of someone who defeated the struggles and the villains.
I wanted greatness, purpose and hope—all these united,
And I could see the ending with happiness and magic.

I wanted great adventures, with friends and magic creatures,
Togetherness, a promise that we would last forever.
I wanted truth and laughter, a family, a smile:
Everything that resembled my soul’s utmost desire.

I wanted dreams of silver, of sparks of life and stardust,
Courage and endless stories of facing fears and darkness,
Wisdom and exploration; to never cease believing;
Me as myself forever, an undefeated spirit.

– Patricia

My Past is Here

Time and again, the shade returns,
Setting its darkness on my soul;
And I’ve got scars and also burns;
Again I ask: “Is this my fault?”

“Why this? Why now? Why me of all?”
I ask and ask to no avail.
“What did I do?”—I can’t recall,
When I look back, I see no trail.

I never hurt them—so why me?
Their words, their actions hurt so much…
Again I ask: “How could this be?”
Is there nobody I can trust?

And one step forward, two steps back,
The nightmare begins its embrace,
It pulls me closer, holds me tight
Until I only see its face.

It’s part of me, forever still,
Always within, claiming my peace.
Never to leave, once it is here
And there’s no sweet, calming release.

– Patricia