Time and again, the shade returns,
Setting its darkness on my soul;
And I’ve got scars and also burns;
Again I ask: “Is this my fault?”
“Why this? Why now? Why me of all?”
I ask and ask to no avail.
“What did I do?”—I can’t recall,
When I look back, I see no trail.
I never hurt them—so why me?
Their words, their actions hurt so much…
Again I ask: “How could this be?”
Is there nobody I can trust?
And one step forward, two steps back,
The nightmare begins its embrace,
It pulls me closer, holds me tight
Until I only see its face.
It’s part of me, forever still,
Always within, claiming my peace.
Never to leave, once it is here
And there’s no sweet, calming release.
– Patricia

Ah this emotional state is a nightmare to be lost in and your poem captures it so well
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